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Bystanders Intervention





What to do if you witness abuse?

As a friend, colleague or family member, you can make a big difference if you see or know about abuse or violence in a marriage. Only step in when it is safe to do so!


ASK: “Are you okay?” “What do you need from me right now?”


LISTEN: Empower them to make choices. Avoid telling them what to do. Praise them for coping in such a difficult situation.


SAY: Keep calm. Keep it simple. ”I saw/heard/notice…and I’m feeling worried about you.”


TELL:  Get support from trusted professionals.


STAND BESIDE: Sit next to them and ask “How can I help?” or “Would you like some help?”


GET HELP: Have a support option ready, if they give you permission: 1-800-799 (SAFE) 7233. Secure an online chat: loveisrespect.org.  TEXT “loveis” to 22522.


DOCUMENT: Suggest they keep evidence such as photos, dated journal entries screenshots.


CALL 911: If you think that you or someone else may be in danger

DON’T GIVE UP on them as a friend, even if they choose to stay in the relationship.


LOOK AFTER YOURSELF:  Pay attention to how you are feeling. Set limits for what you can reasonably do to help.



National Domestic Violence Hotline

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